Thursday, November 15, 2007

Writers strike fallout at Pegasus News

... including an overview of the actual facts behind the strike.

By John P. Meyer

The strike by Hollywood's Writers Guild has drawn media analysis from all angles. Some think the quality of product being delivered was already sub-par; others have attempted to calculate the actual cost of the strike, saying it could "cripple the entertainment industry"; and of course business experts have analyzed underlying income models involved in the industry, concluding with the question: "If no one makes any money, what's to share?" (A sentiment echoed by this New York Times piece, which notes that no one is profiting from most feature films except for the big name acting talent, who can pretty much write their own ticket. Finally, there's Michael Eisner's take on things: he simply refers to the strike as "stupid."

I've been sort of taking my time with a story idea about the television side of things, figuring the writers strike would be going on for a long time... but now it turns out that Governor Schwarzenegger (aka "The Terminator") is taking a personal hand by conversing with both the Writers Guild and various producers with whom he's acquainted, attempting - it seems - to mediate. With AH-nold involved, how much longer can the opposing camps remain at odds? (That's a rhetorical question.)

Time to get my creative butt in gear and push this piece out the door before the whole concept becomes irrelevant.

Here's the premise: with new episodes of dramatic (and comedic) television about to go the way of the dodo (because striking writers are not producing new scripts), the networks' only hope is to saturate the airwaves with totally unscripted material - such as reality programming.

So, my challenge to Pegnews staff: come up with your best ideas for a new reality show concept - something you wouldn't mind seeing on TV as we wait for the writers and network executives to resolve their dispute so we can return to quality programming.

Staff suggestions for new reality shows:

Vienna - "American's Most Talented Inmates" (American Idol meets Oz), the show that gives inmates an artistic outlet and a chance for freedom. The winner will be awarded a "get out of jail free" card, but he'd still have to report to his parole officer.

Catherine, our supposedly fearless leader, turns out to be afraid of really, really bad dates as evidenced by her idea for "The Penultimate Girlfriend," which would chronicle and/or re-enact crazy dates she's actually been on. Think The Year of Yes meets Jerry Springer.

Catherine also likes the idea of a show (title under development - something like "You Write the Rap," maybe?) in which contestants are challenged to create the best new rap lyrics addressing North Texas social ills - preferably without offending a particular constituency.

Chris, for a hard data type of guy, turns out to host a wellspring of creative energy that bubbles and roils to the surface (much like lava and its associated sulfurous gasses) at the tiniest provocation. His suggestions:

"Sleeping with the Stars" (self-explanatory)

"American Idle," which documents the daily three-hour commute of a guy journeying to and from work in the traffic-clogged streets of L.A. You’ll spend 16 weeks watching Larry spill coffee on himself, choke on smog and survive a few road rage episodes. Special guests Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan “crash” the party in a surprise episode.

"Don’t Tase me, Bo!" – Bo Jackson tours the country and tases people for fun.

"America’s Next Hef" – 16 guys fight for the chance to replace Hugh Hefner at the Playboy mansion.

Todd, who's known as a "big picture" sort of guy, wants you to go with the gut-level knee-jerk connotations of his suggestions and so provides only titular descriptions to stimulate your intellectual response:

"X-Treme FacePlant on ESPN 8: The Ocho"

"America's Next Scariest Clown"

"Moose!"

"Girls Gone Wild: U.S. Congress"

"FOX's 'When Bear-Baiting Goes Wrong'"

"Ghostmakers"

"Man vs. DMV"

"Canadians: Are They Real?"

Chad is a socially-aware politically-savvy sort of dude, as evidenced by the first concept he came up with, which of course has humanistic and international implications:

"Kids with Worn Fingers" follows the daily travails of underage workers in a Philippine sweatshop.

Other Chad suggestions include:

"Inside The Cherry Pit"

"The Real Hell" (or Heaven - Chad thinks it'll work either way)

Laura S is visually oriented while also being an animal lover; thus her concept of a pet reality show (title under development - maybe "When Owners Turn Nasty") where you attach a camera to a furry friend's head, you hear the owner yell at them and then they dart off.

JP is Laura S's boyfriend, and he somehow got word of this little inter-office project and offered up the following suggestions, which I felt comfortable including because a) they are amusing, and b) he probably would have posted them as a comment anyway. So...

"Who Will Crap on Their Boss's Desk for $5,000?"; and, a related concept:

"World's Best Office Olympians" - people send in tapes of themselves and co-workers performing their own office Olympic events like shipping tube joust and laptop discus and every week there is a new $5k winner, and once a year there is a championship round for $1,000,000 but the videos must be in a real office setting, during office hours. (So there.)

Justin - "Whose Voice is That?" Described as a show where famous historical assassins such as John Wilkes Boothe, Mark David Chapman, Gavrilo Princip and Paul Rogers (lead singer of Bad Company) find themselves operating a floral delivery service set in San Francisco. Also:

"God Stuff" - a travel show where Timothy Leary, Aldous Huxley, and Aleister Crowley take you on scenic tours through Valhalla sampling wines and cheeses while secretly dosing omniscient beings with LSD.

John (aka, "me"):

In shameless ripoff of Vienna's concept, I offer up "America's Most Outrageous Criminal" in which outlaws compete to carry out the most heinous and broadcast-friendly atrocity, as determined by our panel of celebrity judges including (of course) O.J., Charles Manson (by prison-cam), Osama bin Laden (via satellite) and Vice President Dick Cheney. The winning perpetrator gets a walk; also-rans get the chair (or the needle, or the rope, or the chopping block - depending upon the jurisdiction in which they carried out their criminal act) Tagline: "Win or die: the stakes have never been higher."

Not to overlook the angles rife for ripoff suggested by Catherine's idea, I give you "Most Credulous Girlfriend Ever," which sports as its grand prize a voice stress analysis metering device and $1,000 in ammo (in the contestant's chosen caliber.)

I did, in fact, come up with one entirely original idea: "Ninja Kid Warrior" follows a series of brave (but not too brave) 3 - 6-year-olds who pre-populate the muddy waters below Mount Midoriyama with the "products" of their terror-stricken failures on the diabolical obstacle course.

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• Media > Television > Locals on reality TV

Comments

Scott Doyle Verified

I'm putting in a serious vote for Don’t Tase me, Bo!. I'd DVR every ep.

Also, suggested host for When Bear-Baiting Goes Wrong:

1 year ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

DC Anonymous

Perhaps as payback for trying to convince us that shows like "Cavemen" were worth watching we could just have CBS, NBC, ABC and Fox replaced with the BBC and NHK.

The large movie studios should also be punished for failing to answer such summer blockbuster questions as how would the Decepticons have taken over the galaxy using technology from 1938? Oh Em Gee.

1 year ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

Donna Chen Verified

"Extreme Cube Makeover" "Pimp My Cube" etc.

1 year ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

Donna Chen Verified

Apparently, "Pimp My Cube" has already come into fruition. Oh snap!

Part 1:

Part 2:

1 year ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )