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Monday, June 30, 2008

Olympians’ secret to success is apparently Botox

By Pegasus News wire

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Botox -- it's almost like magic.

Botox -- it's almost like magic.

Just in time for the Olympics, former Olympians Nadia Comaneci and Mark Spitz will make an appearance at the Westin Galleria Dallas on Tuesday, July 29 as part of the "Your Personal Best" campaign, a drive that "motivates women and men who feel they are not achieving their own personal best to take steps to achieve their goals." And what might those steps be? Healthy eating? Exercise? Well, maybe, but they're mostly here to talk about Botox.

According to the press release, Comaneci and Spitz have both used Botox to "help them lose their '11' – the two stubborn vertical lines between the brows that can make one appear tired or stressed." Wow, that's fantastic, but what about those of us who can't afford unnecessary cosmetic work? You're in luck -- "event attendees will have the opportunity to make an appointment for a complimentary consultation" with a physician, and if that physician thinks you're wrinkly enough, you'll also "receive one complimentary treatment of the glabellar lines (moderate to severe frown lines between the brows)."

Free injections of a highly poisonous substance for all -- what could be more healthy or more in the spirit of the Olympics?

Posted by Alex B.; Source: Chandler Chico Agency Public Relations

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Comments

Pavel Lishin

Pavel Lishin Verified

Be sarcastic all you want; those two extra lines alter your aerodynamic profile, adding as many as 0.00003 seconds to your final time.

1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

Mike Orren

Mike Orren Staff

When this press release came over the transom, I was initially psyched: Mark Spitz has long been a hero of mine (considering that I grew up as a swimmer).

But then, like Ralphie in A Christmas Story, I realized it was "just a crummy commercial."

Also gives me the chance to relate my favorite story about our offices. Our next door neighbor is a botox provider. One day I went in to take them some mail that was misdelivered and noticed a sign that said (paraphrasing):

Due to increases in the cost of acquiring the botulism toxin, we can no longer offer free touch-ups.

Who says there's no recession...

1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

Scott Doyle

Scott Doyle Verified

Since we're talking about crazy antics among Olympians...

Athletes may be using Viagra for competitive edge

Can't wait to see the 100 meter dash with full blown hard-ons.

1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

Chris Olson

Chris Olson Verified

I remember hearing awhile back about The Rocket keeping Viagra in his locker. If it's a drug, and it's not outlawed, pretty sure an athlete somewhere has tried it. Although I'm starting to hate calling them 'athletes' when all of them are hopped up on stuff.

1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

Mike Orren

Mike Orren Staff

Of course, while I'm throwing rocks at Spitz, I should note the shame that the likelihood of his incredible 7 gold medal record performance being bested this year is as much because of swimsuit technology as it is athletic skill:

http://www.swimnetwork.com/articles/a...

"So when Michael Phelps breaks Mark Spitz's record of seven gold medals in a single Olympic Games this summer, celebrate what a truly incredible achievement it is. Regardless of the suit he's wearing, he's still doing this against a level playing field, and absolutely deserves all the praise he will receive for breaking this record.

However, also recognize that it was a record that saw the beginning and end of an era of swimming that we will never see again unless the money craze comes to an end.

It's still swimming. It's still the greatest, most legitimate sport in the world. But it's not what it was when swimmers of the Spitz era were in the water. When 32 out of 32 Olympic records will most likely fall this year (click here and you tell me which of those could possibly survive this summer), something is wrong and desperately needs to be remedied."

1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

Scott Doyle

Scott Doyle Verified

If Viagra is eventually outlawed, I hope the International Olympic Committee hands down punishment with "raging, mega-huge boners".

1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

Pavel Lishin

Pavel Lishin Verified

If there are going to be restrictions on the types of swimsuits they're wearing, it's going to be completely arbitrary no matter what the final ruling is.

Let's just make them all swim naked.

1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

DC

DC Anonymous

It's ok that I can't see SD's picture about this one.

There's good naked and bad naked.

1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

Scott Doyle

Scott Doyle Verified

FYEO, DC (SFW, kekeke):

Was a movie reference, but I can't hit image hosting sites at work...so I tried to just use original and got hosed.

1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

DC

DC Anonymous

I detect homo-erotic overtones

1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

Scott Doyle

Scott Doyle Verified

I do prefer over to under... tones, of course.

1 month, 3 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

jtmbls

jtmbls Anonymous

I wonder what Bruce Jenner would look like today without his regular dose? He looks doll-like, for a lack of a better term, and it's a little spooky. Too bad we can't tell what he would look like if he had chosen to grow old gracefully like Paul Newman or pre-Botox men like Cary Grant. It must be hard to be a man these days.

1 month, 2 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

rberube96 Anonymous

Mike Orren - sorry to disappoint you, buddy, but those who know Spitz know he's a grade A jerk. The fact that he's only making himself available because he's profiting from it is right in character for him. And please stop moaning about the violation of the unfettered purity of Spitz's performance vs today. If Phelps or Hoff equals/exceeds Spitz's performance, it will be because they are the best ever. The suits may result in faster times, but if everyone is wearing them (which they are), the cream still rises to the top. I personally think less suit coverage is better for the viewing spectacle of the sport, so tack me up as a traditonalist as well. No matter what, Olympic glory is truly sought by those looking to be the best, not those looking to make the most money. Sport is way to finicky to do what we do without having the purity of the pursuit as our primary goal. Have faith - the Olympics are just as meaningful now as they were in '72.

1 month, 2 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

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